Laurel Busch, Writer and Editor: "Going to your children's garage sale is a bad idea"

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Going to your children's garage sale is a bad idea

Originally published March 29, 2008, in the Let's Talk about Laurie blog
(c) 2008

Our sons were having garage sales to cut down on what they had to move when they went to Seattle, so I invited myself to get rid of some things of my own at the same time.

The day of the first sale, I rolled out of bed as early as possible for a Saturday morning and got to their house with my items while they were putting out their merchandise and dealing with early bird shoppers. Of course I was curious about what all they were selling and what they were charging. They gave me a few things, and that was fun. Then I went over to check out their "free" row.

It was brutal.

The first box I looked into held their collection of construction toys from when they were toddlers. I had boxed them up when they outgrew them and found room for them until they moved out. I would never be one of those mean moms who threw out their kids' favorite toys! However, I refused to store them after they rented their own house.

When I saw the toys, I fought an internal battle. Why aren't they keeping them? Should I take them home and save them? No, I'm trying to get rid of things, not get more. What if they regret this later? Do they mean more to me than to them? Why the free row? Surely they're worth something . . . Should I say something to them? No, they're adults and this is a decision they made. Before I came to any conclusion, an early bird picked up the box and carried it to his truck.

I continued down the "free" row. There was the miniature Zen sand garden I'd given one of them as a stocking stuffer a few years ago. Unopened. That was one of those presents you buy someone else because you'd like it yourself, so I seriously considered taking it back. Then I reminded myself of how hard it's been to unclutter my house. There were the plastic fruit lights I bought Danny when he was thinking about making a tiki bar. (OK, it's hard to think of gifts for adult children!) They were unopened, too.

I was beginning to realize there was a privacy issue. When you put things out for a garage sale, you're not expecting anyone but strangers you'll never see again to look at them. If you want to get rid of a bunch of stuff your mom gave you that you don't like and she shows up and gets her feelings hurt, that's a problem. Notice I said I invited myself to their sale! So all I did was mention I was surprised they were giving those items away, and I kept my mouth shut after that.

At the end of the row I came across a box of books. These weren't in very good condition, which I guess made them an obvious choice for a "free" area. The reason they were so worn, though, is they are all the books I read to them when they were little. The Hungry Caterpillar, Are You My Mother?, A House Is a House, other "Little Golden Books." Ouch! I had no doubt at that point the books held more sentimental value for me than for them.

Again I hesitated, and again a shopper picked them all up and took them away while I was trying to talk myself out of taking them. She appeared to be about Danny and Lance's age, and I comforted myself by thinking she had children to read them to. It was only later that I realized they might have been her favorite books when she was little and she might have had a mean mom who threw them out. It makes me happy to think she might value them even though Danny and Lance don't.

Having researched family history since I was 12, I know a little about about sentimental value. I've run into many, many, many middle-aged and older people who regret not saving things and not being interested in family history until the objects and their older relatives were gone. For example, the parents of one of my cousins had the Civil War musket of my great-great-grandfather Valentine L. Spawr. When his father died, this cousin told his mother to go ahead and sell the gun, and she did. He didn't become interested in family history until later, and I think he'd do anything to get the gun back now.

The point I'm trying to make is I hope Danny and Lance never wish they had their construction toys or their childhood books books back. Or all the other things they've thrown out while I wasn't around!

They had their second and last sale this morning. This time I made sure I didn't arrive until the sale was nearly over and most of the stuff was gone.